monke was my cat.
now i have none.
so i go out and play.

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Aug 24, 2004

You think I sell chicken ah?

God, I hate haggling. I have to use like every effort I have *plus every ounce of my public relations skill, the dregs that's left of it* to keep civil and making those contrived little laughs. Detour chitchats, blahblahblah, with the number still hovers in the atmosphere. i end up a mill less than i expected.
Shit. what a softie.
i hung up the phone drained.

Posted at 06:25 pm by monke
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Aug 2, 2004
why why WHYYYY

why do some people enjoy so much hurting other people's feeling???
does one really have to say everything that comes to mind, regardless what it will cause???
is it being too sensitive or someone's got too much kick out of inflicting pain?
and is it so wrong that it makes one regret being kind???
isn't it HUMANE?
to feel pain?
to feel hurt?
to feel angry?
when times and times again one's got to bury it deep or just let go.
why do i HAVE to do that???
why do i have to be KIND???   
fuck it.
fuck you.

Posted at 04:34 pm by monke
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seems to be doing a lot of traveling lately.
not a big deal for the art directors, but we low-life copywriters?
so i got my once-a-year quota for doing post production overseas last week. to singapore. again.
oh well, one should be thankful for one's blessings...

rain lashed the plane window as we landed in changi. singapore is not in a very welcoming mood apparently. but i soon change my mind as we drove to the hotel, coz the rain seems to wash everything fresh for my arrival. we were picked up by this jolly joseph and his amazing van. automatic doors? DVD player? Cool!
as freakishly neat and proper as i remember, we met hardly any traffic. such a welcome change from jakarta.

love the hotel. it's in the chinatown part of the city, but don't get me wrong, it's very modern and stylishly done. so approriate, since it's the favorite of the advertising and PH lot and conveniently near from the post production places.

and one of my wish has been granted. as in experiencing doing something in song zu. cool place. but it seems that i ain't seen nothing yet. went to frameworks afterward. all's fine but i won't bore anybody with work stuff.

at last off to orchard. yay! i get to try MRT at last <yeah yeah yeah, where have i been>. shop for knickknacks and got dinner in this foodcourt. have a long long bath and trying to turn in early with no avail. tv sucks. too bored to read. gah.

Posted at 04:18 pm by monke
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Jul 21, 2004
black as beetle

Am now brown as nut.

two seaside trips in two weeks! full blast of sun!
last weekend was fun though. Lombok, new frontier! <well at least for me...>
got there real late friday night. dead tired. but in the morning i was so determined to utilize each and every second of my time there, so i dragged my ass of the bed at 6.30 coz we SUPPOSED to gather for the snorkling trip at 7.
got out of the room and voila. as i expected, nobody's awake yet. things are looking up at the dining room, as some people managed to get up pretty early too. the fare was quite steep, 200 bucks a head but it's waaay to early to haggle so i joined.
it took almost an hour to the harbour. we went by bus, then a short way by this horse carriage, and swamped all the way by little peddlers, who enthusiastically offer their merchandises up to the border of being rude.
the boat ride was only about half and hour, and we're still a bit puzzled on what we're getting ourselves into. arrived at gili trawangan at around 11, we still have to haggle for the snorkel and fin rent. yes, it wasn't included in the bloody 200 bucks. oh well, the sun is bright, the sky is blue, and there's an awfully pretty beach awaits us. 
so we walk. and walk. and walk. i was expecting some sort of a dock or something. but you know what... it turns out that we have to SWIM to the middle of the sea to get to the snorkling site. WHAT? i was getting worried, and the big waves crashing at the beach sure didn't set my mind at peace.
so i put on my fin. forget the snorkel, the water will get in and i'll get panicked so i opted for my goggles instead. some of the guys already made their way to the middle. one, two, three paddles into the ocean and a big wave caught me. one of the fin got loose and nearly swept to the sea.
one of imel's fin was already fall victim to the sea and i don't want to follow suit.
at last i swam to the middle, holding bam's hand all the way. in the middle, i was holding on to a boat still cannot see anything but for a hazy shadow of a crummy clown fish. but before i gather my courage to venture on, the boat owner came angrily and tell us to get the hell away from his boat. ah well. i swam back to the shore.
so we spent the afternoon taking pictures. nice pictures to. heh.
reeeeaaalllyyy hungry, we got back to the hotel aready too late for lunch and there's so much happening at the pool <while i need to wash off all the sands that got in my bikini after my attempt to bury myself> so, tummy grambling, we have a swim and some games. imagine the little team on tug-a-war. not really pretty. great idea roy...

Posted at 07:07 pm by monke
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Jul 12, 2004
tadaaa... the prodigal gal is baaacckkkk...

loads of things happen since may. gosh, was my last entry in may?
for one, my latest craziness over pool. play like once or twice a week. but have to dampen my urge to play this month coz my god am i short on cash. damn salary got out a week earlier than usual! then the seaside trip! then another seaside trip this weekend! and i lost my goggles so i have to buy another! and damn gym membership's due! this girl needs some salvation...

it's been rather slumpy these past months. floating around aimlessly, wasting amazing amount of time and money that ends up nowhere. but miraculously i sorta find my anchor back, something i've left for so long but wonders of all wonders, open up his arms and embrace me like a long lost daughter. and i found peace. and i'm forever grateful. the real challenge now is hang on to that anchor while figuring out where i should set out my course. but at least, now i know, if i ever get lost again, i'll always have a place that always welcome me home.

sounds corny as hell. haha.

Posted at 12:36 am by monke
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May 6, 2004
ramdom ramblings

I was in a bus on my way to work today when a man and a little boy got in.
i think the boy is his grandson. the funny thing is, the boy is wearing a PDI Perjuangan t-shirt while the grandpa wearig a PAN t-shirt.
the legacy of the election maybe. talking of plurality. and freedom to express you opinion.
but is it all there is to it? I mean the election. was it about doing your right as a citizen or just that. a chance of getting a free t-shirt.
i usually shy away from anything political. it's so dirty that seems worthless to dwell upon.
but then last night i saw bowling for columbine. what struck me is, hm, it's nice to have your thoughts confirmed. that the United States of A is just a country filled with paranoid people. and that george w. bush is just a lump of shit. how sad. and they think they're so mighty and holy. they're so messed up inside but insist on being the people who decide what should and shouldn't the whole world do.
the movie must be such a slap in the face.
if only someone around here have the guts to do that.

Posted at 12:19 pm by monke
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Apr 23, 2004

mood swings. a lot lately.
mostly feeling down in the dumps. then one day hilariously happy.
don't know what the heck some people want from me.
and I hate feeling guilty! especially on the ocassions that... well... I am sorta guilty.
damn. totally ruin the fun I had.
and now bb's closing down. boo hoo.. now where to go?
now that I seem to find this piece of my life that I thought I've lost...
damn damn damn.

Posted at 05:12 pm by monke
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Apr 1, 2004

gone for almost a month! bad aldi, bad bad bad...
have been caught up with this friendster schmienster thingy.
the good thing is, been meeting people i haven't seen for ages.
the bad thing is, makes me think that do i really know such few people in my life? kinda pathetic...
first it seems fun searching for people that seems interesting, but it too soon lost its charm. not my cup of tea obviously. knew that all along, really, but one's gotta try.
sometimes i really want to be like those people that can bee so loose on these sort of things. but at the end you just gotta be true to yourself. which comes to the next question: how then do you meet people?

Posted at 11:15 am by monke
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Mar 3, 2004
Something in the air...

something must have gone into everybody's mind.
everybody who is remotely a 'client' anyway. what? haven't been given enough at home maybe? why they have to decide to be difficult at the same time?
that makes the atmosphere just not nice at the office at the moment. and it's not like we don't have that MUCH projects to deal with. us the underlings can smile and joked about it, but i can't imagine those that really have to face and deal with it. me, i can end up run amok and kill them all...

man, they should realize that everything is not all about THEM. and what they think (which not necessarily right). hello? it won't kill anybody if some guy seems to have a gay intonation in a commercial. it's just a fucking commercial which will run for what? 3 months? some people just gotta get a grip. or have more sex. that should calm them.

Posted at 09:44 pm by monke
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Feb 27, 2004
back !

hwew, that old laziness came back lately *has it ever go away*, hence the disappearance for two weeks.

what's new what's new... has a shoot last week. taken up one of my holiday, dang. there goes the long weekend. made up for myself by not stepping out of the house for the next two days. totally pigging out. sadly without corn, so I no special holiday cup a corn for me...

still a bit restless about my room after the big overhaul two weeks ago. the shelves are finally done, yay! I also whitewashed the yellow walls so my room looks a bit greek-y with white and cobalt walls. it's so much easier to arrange the color coordination though, and the room looks brighter. but one the ball starts rolling, i can't seemed to stop. after throwing out a bunch of stuff things still looks untidy. so i bought boxes so at least i won't see things strewn around. my shelves looks so pretty. next aim is to get small cabinet *my table is sooo messy* and decent mirror. probably after next month pay.

what else... well i bought off krestin's almost brand new headphones so i can bring around my discman again and start to listen to Tori's From Venus and Back and that Tears for Fears best of that I hadn't had the time to listen to. great stuff. reminds me of Bali... sobs... wanna go back...

oh and krestin got me Sound of Colors VCD in Singapore! oh wow... the only setback is it's in mandarin. well at least i got to see it, and a very sweet movie indeed. better than Turn Left Turn Right in my opinion, which is also based on Jimmy Liao's comicbook. at least in terms of the quality of picture *no wonder... joe ma might be the director, but it was produced by Wong Kar Wai's JetTone with the mighty WKW himself as producer. i won't be surprised if he dip more than his fingers into the project*... i think i'll watch it again tonight

have to discipline myself to write more...

Posted at 08:04 pm by monke
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